So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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