I'm going to jail i love you
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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