i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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