I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
