i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
