i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
