She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
