he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
