why didn't you poke me back
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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