Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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