are you still at the devil's house?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
