i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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