does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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