We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
