He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
