Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
