just come out here and I will go home with you...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
