Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
