He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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