is your mom at the bar?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
