Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
