Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
