I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
