3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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