I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
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