then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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