I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
