SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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