and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
