part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
