then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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