You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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