We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
