Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
