I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
