True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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