they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
