Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
