East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
