yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
