Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The air was thick with penises
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
