well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize