the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
