We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
