I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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