And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
