I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
