it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
