i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
