walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
