This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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