Jerry, you need to find god
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
