So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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